I Don’t Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day

I was raped on this day

Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash

We were strictly friends because I am gay.

He knew this, and I was often dating or pursuing women at this time in our friendship. I appreciated his friendship so much because things never got weird. To me, he was one of the only men I could actually trust—this was before the whole him-being-a-rapist thing.

I had just gotten out of a relationship.

At the time, she used female pronouns. That has since changed. This person was great, a good match for me during a very temporary period of time. Honestly, the breakup wasn’t exactly ugly or difficult. It just didn’t end up working out. Of course, my best friend supported me through this.

Then, the party happened.

The party itself was very tame but fun. It consisted of myself, my best friend, his girlfriend, his sister, his uncle, and the rest of his adult relatives. I was the youngest one there, just shy of being a minor. His mom would not let us drink, but the sparkling cider sufficed. We played games and celebrated well into the evening.

I ended up inviting a girl that I was into.

We had never hung out before, but I knew that she enjoyed smoking. I was hopeful that my offer would seem like a fun time that she couldn’t pass up. Success! She wanted to come. I was too intoxicated to drive, as was my best friend. His sister had to work in the morning, so she was the only semi-sober one.

The party didn’t end for us here.

After she was home safely, the rest of us continued to drink and smoke well into the early hours of the morning. One of the last things that I remember is changing into my pajamas and watching The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. It was me next to my best friend next to his cousin next to his sister.

It was 5 AM before I finally felt like I could safely move.

I collected my purse, keys, and the clothes I had worn to the St. Patrick’s Day party. As I left the hotel room, I sent him a quick text saying that I had to go and not to worry about me. It’s not like he was very worried about my well-being, it turns out.

Writer and author • Interested in mindfulness and spirituality • Fascinated by interpersonal connections • 🌈LGBTQ+ kristennadelauthor@hotmail.com

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